This is a very important discovery for me because the part of bipolar disorder I detest is the irritable depression that occurs with mixed state. It is the rattlesnake part of my disorder. The more I learn about it, the better I can manage and reduce it. For instance, I started taking Vitamin D3 and Magnesium supplements because deficiency in these minerals is linked to depression. I have been diagnosed as vitamin D deficient in the past. Hypomania is fine but not irritable depression. It causes me to snap at loved ones which leads to a horrible guilt. It is a nasty cycle. I hope this article helps those who havent figured out that depression does not only present as a sadness but can present as anger as well. Click on the link below for more information.
Everything sounds crispier
Sounds have sharper edges
Words with the hard C or K are pleasing
They crackle and pop
I kid you not
We walk together in an uplifting mood cause of our closeness. He discusses his day at work in a more serious tone of adults. Me on the other hand, feel the giddiness bottled up inside. Like a child, I want to skip and sing outloud, but do not in this professional setting. I keep a lid on it and do good by staying quiet. I imitate his mood. I answer, “uh huh” and say, “interesting” at the right moments. It seems to get brighter outside, and I put on my sunglasses. I become cozy again with my giddiness. Silly thoughts with strings that go to funny places play through out my mind. His words go on in my background until he says something playful about my sunglasses. He pulls my silly string…
I become sillified by his certain single statement sidewinding to my sternum. His words hit dead center and release me. My giddiness bursts into the open. It shoots up into the air and burst into fireworks. Glints of falling sparkles come down and settle on my crown.
My exhale heaves out a hearty laugh. Finally, my surroundings are in sync with me, and we are one. I get to be silly and silly I become. Playfully, we make each other smile. The pace of my words pick up speed , and I say whatever I please. They are my silliest of thoughts and dreams.
When we are together, and you look at me, know that I am wishing for you to sillify me.